I’m sad today. I lost my kitty Phoenix. He was only 4 years old. He died of kidney failure. He is the second cat I’ve had that suffered from the illness. Phoenix is a Siamese and my other cat, Mr. Jones, was part Siamese. It makes me wonder.

Siamese cats are famous for their unique personality. Phoenix acted more like a dog sometimes than a cat. He was always at the door to greet me when I came home. He was pretty vocal too. He always let you know when he was in the room or wanted something. What I’m going to miss most though is when he would crawl up in bed with me. I will miss his persistent attitude to be pet, not matter if I were still sleeping or not.

Phoenix I love you and will miss you dearly.

I’m calling out to all women who are interested in fashion for an upcoming story in flaire for women. I’m looking for photos of fashion dos and don’ts. Send me a photo of yourself or of someone else and let me know what you think about the outfit.

Clothing style is something that not everyone will agree on, but there are common elements that people feel do make a good outfit - size, color and of style (think LBD.) .

Remember if you send pictures please be kind. What I’m looking for is if something you may think is or isn’t wearing something that is age appropriate or fits properly. Personal style plays into our fashion choices and just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean they don’t look good in it.

I don’t like tennis shoes with an outfit, unless its for fitness, but it doesn’t send me running away from people who wear them.

Send me your photos at cynthia_ellis @thetelegraph.com.

I’m bad…really bad. Why? Well I haven’t been keeping up with my blogging. In all actuality it seems like an easy task, but it’s not so simple when you have so many other things to do.

I think blogging is similar to writing in a journal, although not as personal. When I was young I used to write in a journal daily. I kept my most personal feelings inside and then when I was a senior in high school a boyfriend read it. I felt so violated. He then had the audacity to get mad at me for the things he read. Needless to say that was the end of us.

Later when I was in the military and kept a journal the same thing happened. Someone read what I wrote and I didn’t feel like writing anymore. I kept a diary so that one day I would be able to look back on my life and reminisce time to time. It also allowed me to remember the people who were in my life at the time.

In this age of technology there are fewer people who write in journals. They have turned to blogging online. However, blogging doesn’t tell people what you really feel. A journal is meant for you and it reflects your true feeling. Some of the best writing comes from personal experience - travel, work and personal problems - and you wouldn’t want everyone to see how you really feel about your boss, co-worker or husband now would you?

I also think of journals and diaries as part of history, without them we wouldn’t have the knowledge about the past and the people who wrote them. There is nothing like reading a first person experience to get the true tale.

There has been many famous individuals to document what is happening to them throughout history as well as what was happening in their country. Numerous diaries have been published that have hit a historical status and have remained as best sellers on literary lists throughout the world. Here are just a few to get you started:

Anne Frank, The Diary of Young Girl
Journals of the Lewis and Clark Expedition
The Journals of Sylvia Plath
Nuremberg Diary
The Diary of Virgina Woolf
A Woman Doctor’s Civil War: Esther Hill Hawks’ Diary (Women’s Diaries and Letters of the Nineteenth-Century South)

Most of the presidents kept diaries throughout their life and their term as president. We know this as we have several diaries from presidents including George Washington, John Quincy Adams and Thomas Jefferson. However, one unique diary belonged to President Harry S. Truman - Hiroshima:The Harry Truman Diary and Papers.

Truman would write notes and comments throughout the day. These may not have been official diary entries, but they are very poignant and show us how the president felt.

These unique accounts of historical diaries are yet another reason to keep a diary or journal. Although you may not be famous your journal may be an insight to your life later on . It most definitely would be an account that your family would enjoy long after you’re gone.

So tell me do you write in a journal or do you have a favorite one that you’ve read?

Let me start off by saying that yes, I am one of those mothers. If you ask I will tell you about my son and tell you what he’s up to. Why? Because I’m proud of him and of course he is an only child of a single parent and much of my energy has been focused on him.

Well last week he gained his independence. At least in his eyes that’s what happened. He got his license. I told you all before that it’s what I feared most. Not so much that he can drive on his own, but rather that he would be driving my car by himself. So on his first night out he dropped me off at a friends for a party and then he was off to pick up his friend so they could go to the movies.

Within an hour I’m getting call “Mom, we have a problem.”

“What do you mean we have a problem? Are you OK?”

“Yes, but there is a problem with the car.”

“What? Did you have a wreck?”

“No, the tire blew and it’s flat.We were leaving Rally’s and it just popped.”

Of course I was upset. Not at him, but at the fact on his first night out, in the pouring rain and I had no way to get to him. He called his grandparents for help, but rather that wait he went ahead and changed the tire himself. One of the things Cole forgot to tell me is that he had pulled into a parking lot and off the road after he left the fast-food eatery. So as I sat at my friends and waited for my parents to get to Alton I worried about him being along side the road somewhere, especially Homer Adams Parkway.

I’m proud of the fact that Cole was smart enough to change the tire himself and he did it right. (It’s something I couldn’t even do.)

I told him that although I remember getting my license I don’t recall what I did the first time I drove by myself. I said it’s one of those memories that you will always have and be able to tell your children. I mean he didn’t panic and did the responsible thing.

The next day I had four brand new tires put on (they needed it) and although it cost me I realized that his first adventure could have been worse. He could have actually be driving 50 mph down the road when the tire blew and crashed. The next night when he took the car I wasn’t so worried. I guess him showing responsibility during an emergency eased my anxiety.

Up next is how I will feel when he has his own car.

It’s official –my son is 16 and after tomorrow he will have his driver’s license. He’s excited, but I’m feeling more apprehensive about it. Why? Other than the obvious reasons it officially makes me feel old.

Turning 40 didn’t bother me as much as Cole getting his driver’s license . Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t have his own vehicle and will have to borrow mine. I’m going to worry until he gets home. I’m not afraid of him driving –it’s the other drivers I’m worried about. When your vehicle is the only mode of transportation…you get the picture I’m sure.

I remember when I got my license. I couldn’t wait. I’m sure my parents felt the exact same way about me getting my license as I do about my son getting his. I’m fortunate though in all the years I’ve had mine that I’ve never really had any problems “behind the wheel.” I say that lightly because you never know when something will happen.

There are many milestones in parenting, but the one so many of us fear is the day our children get their license. I never really got “it” until now. You can be the most cautious driver in the world, but another driver can “wreck” more than your car — it can damage your entire life. I don’t want to have to worry every time he leaves and shuts the door.

I want him to remember that 16 is a terrific time and when he’s my age and has kids he will be doing the same thing as me –worrying.

Turning 40 was fun. I had a terrific party hosted by my co-worker and friend Jill Moon.

We started at Simply Foo Foo in Alton and from there we went to my favorite places in town - Gentelin’s on Broadway, Bossanova and Bubby and Sissy’s. I had a blast and of course I felt it the next day too.

One of the best parts of the weekend though was getting to meet John Waite. He gave two concerts at the Argosy and on Saturday I got to go to the meet and greet prior to the show. He is such a wonderful man. Alton should be so lucky that he was in town. His father died in England last Tuesday and yet he still fulfilled his commitment to perform for his fans.

The show was wonderful. I knew it would be though. I saw him open for Rick Springfield last year at the St. Charles Family Arena and it was great. I heard on Friday night (the night I was actually out) that following the concert John and his band went downtown to Mac’s Time Out for dinner (if I only had known.) They spent a few hours at the establishment and from what I hear they enjoyed their time in our city.

So for all you naysayers there really is a lot to do in Alton and quite a few places to go to have a good time. I definitely had a “hot time in the city.”

It’s hard to believe that I turned 40 today. It really is no big deal to me, but the fact is my son is turning 16 in 10 days, well I think that’s a little more scarier.

I’m blessed this year because he doesn’t get to drive to homecoming. His birthday (Oct. 4) is the day after and he will have to wait two days to get his license. I have a feeling the waiting will be the hardest part for the both of us. Why? It’s like when they are little and they constantly ask to go somewhere or do something - not much patience.

As I look back over my life I feel I’ve had a good one. I have no real complaints. I’ve got a wonderful family and lots of friends. I’ve accomplished things in my life I never though possible and I believe that the best years still lie ahead.

I don’t think that getting older is all “doom and gloom.” There are women who do, but I’ve had some great women in my life that taught me that with age comes wisdom. They taught me to think for myself and never give up on your dreams, no matter what.

I could probably say there are things I wish I could change about myself - i.e., hair, weight - but overall I am happy with who I am. I proud to be FABulous and 40. Really isn’t it the new 20?

Do you remember what was popular when you were in high school? Most of us do, especially movies that were part of the pop culture. In 1987, the year I graduated, there were a lot of great films that came out — Moonstuck, The Untouchables, Fatal Attraction, The Witches of Eastwick, Lethal Weapon and of course Dirty Dancing.

All of these movies have made an impact in pop culture today. Phrases embedded in our minds to this day include “Snap out of it!” “You’re not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy” and “Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner.” The later of these three was made famous by none other than Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. So it saddens me that he died at the age of 57 on Monday.

I loved that movie, but I realized long before that he would be a star. The first movie I watched him in was The Outsiders. I read the book by S.E. Hinton while I was 14 and I knew he fit the role perfectly. Next up was the popular mini-series North and South. (It’s still my favorite, even though the John Jakes books are way better.) Then came Red Dawn.

But Dirty Dancing…well I don’t need to say anything other that it made every teenage girl swoon for Swayze.

In 1989, he went on to make Next of Kin and Road House (recently I read that it was the most played movie in re-runs), then in 1990 he made his next big hit - Ghost. This movie had every woman wanting to make pottery with her man.

Five years later Patrick dressed in drag for what I believe is one of his most delicious roles - To Wong Fu, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. Granted it’s not action packed, but it’s fun, light- hearted and shows a softer side to him.

So what’s your fave flick of him?

If you’re a fan of MTV, or even if you’re not, I’m sure you know by now what happened during the video music award ceremony last night. Can you believe a grown man feels the need to steal the thunder of the winner in order to make a point? Especially when he’s not even up for the award.

Kanye West, a 32-year-old rapper who is notorious for pushing the envelope, went a little too far when he got onstage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for Best Female Video - You Belong With Me -and took the mic and said he felt Beyonce Knowles had the best video.

“I’m sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time,” he said about her Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) video

It’s no doubt there were others who felt the same as Kanye, especially since Taylor’s specialty is country and the majority of music on MTV is pop, but they were reserved enough not to do what he did.
Taylor really didn’t know what to think about the incident, but when Beyonce accepted her award for Best Video of the Year she invited Taylor back on stage to finish the delivery of her acceptance speech.

“Well, you know, I was up there and I was standing there and I saw Kanye up on the stage,” she told MTV News after the show. “I was really excited … and I kind of wasn’t excited anymore.”

I had the pleasure of interviewing Taylor a few years ago for flaire for women. She is really as sweet girl. Since our interview Taylor has exploded in her musical career. One of the reasons is that her sound isn’t strictly country. It appeals to a lot of young women. She of course is still a teenager herself and that’s why I think she is so popular. She sings about young love from her point of view and what girl doesn’t want to hear songs about that?

Beyonce is also a great performer and is a remarkable person. Kanye to say the least needs to grow up. I understand about pushing boundaries, but let’s face it he seems more like a spoiled brat than an adult. This incident was not Kanye’s first.

Most of us became aware of him after his infamous outburst during a Red Cross-sponsored telethon on NBC to raise money for Hurricane Katrina survivors in September 2005.

In 2006, during the MTV Europe Music Awards, West got on stage after his video Touch the Sky lost to Justice and Simian’s video We Are Your Friends and interrupted their acceptance speech. He claimed that he had been drinking before the show and that was the reason for his bad behavior.

In 2007, the rapper declared the he would “never return to MTV” after Britney Spears was chosen to open the show instead of him.

Maybe, just maybe, producers will learn from this, although I doubt it. I can bet MTV likes all the attention this brings. The only way that bad behavior like this will stop is if advertisers boycott the show.

Kanye later apologized to Taylor on his blog there are many who aren’t buying it including Donald Trump. He told TMZ that is boycotting all things Kanye.

“He could care less about Beyonce,” Trump said. “It was grandstanding to get attention.”

So what do you think? I think his record shows that as long as he allowed to get away with it he will.

The old saying “boys will be boys” has never really been something I’ve accepted in my house. I’ve taught my son (I still am for that matter) to be responsible. We bicker every now and then about chores or when he continues not to turn off lights or pick up wet towels, but his latest escapade has me rethinking teenage boys behavior.

Through the years Cole and I’ve exchanged words when he’s lost something. He actually doesn’t lose the item, but rather misplaces it and cannot remember where. Sometimes retracing his steps doesn’t even work. I’m usually the one who finds the item and sometimes it’s in places you would never think to look. I’ve come home to find the television remote in the refrigerator, keys too, and the milk in the cabinet.

But his latest incident, well it led to a big argument on being responsible. He thought he lost his leather wallet Saturday night. It was loaded with money, his driver’s permit and health insurance card. He more or less was mad at me because he couldn’t find it and then I got mad because he was sulking about the ordeal. We yelled….and then he went outside to cool off. I told him that if he lost it, he needed to call the last place he was at and ask if someone found it. I feel if he misplaced something then he should be the one to look for it and take all the steps to retrieve it.

During our argument Cole got upset enough he had to go for a walk. When he returned he called the venue he had been to in Collinsville and said if it turned up to give him a call. Then he decided he was hungry (no surprise to anyone who has ever had teenagers) and opened the freezer door and started laughing. Guess what? He found his wallet.

Amazing where boys put things. He said he probably set it down when he came home and was scrounging around for food. I guess the term “freezer burn” has a new meaning.